The thing that happened to me last weekend was to remind me that French is still a language that is foreign to me... That kind of recall comes always when i try too hard to speak naturally, trying to overcome all my grammar and pronunciation problems. In general, I am really grateful to God that I've made through the worst period of my learning when I couldn't express myself. I remember the first days in September when I had encouraged my friends to talk in French instead of English. But in fact, when they had changed it had been me who had been at once excluded from the discussion. When I had succeded in making a simple sentence in my mind they had already changed the topic and I had been out of context. Then there were these first days when I was forced to speak French for the most part of a day. And that was so exhausting that I was often coming home with a big headache and repeating expression in my mind. These days are thankfully over and now I just talk. Of course, my grammar is still poor and I still need to improve a lot my vocabulary but I am on the right path :) However, what causes me the biggest troubles is the pronunciation. Sometimes it brings funny situations when I confuse some words, but how is it possible that I've been practicing some words for over six months now and I still make the same mistakes.
So, last Friday and then Saturday evening I was again learnt what is the difference between "e" and "e" and "e", (I hear all the time the same "e"). And after saying thousands times the words "jaune", "jeune" and "jeûne" I got a headache but finally saw the difference. Now I just need to find out how to use that precious knowledge :)
The language experience is one of the most remarkable here for me. It showed me how important it is to be able to communicate freely with others. I also put more attention to my Polish now, especially when I talk to people that it's not their mother tongue.
I think I am also a bit different in French. The way we speak creates our image, how others see us. In French I don't speak naturally, I don't make the same jokes. It's better now, but in the beginning I put more attention on how I say than what.
Finally, whatever my grammar or pronunciation is, I want to use it so that I will be like the righteous:
"The tongue of the righteous is choice silver,
but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
The lips of the righteous nourish many,
but fools die for lack of sense." Proverbs 10:20-21
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